The fact of the matter is, if you're struggling with confidence, you're probably being afflicted by the Right Choice, Wrong Choice conflict that naturally plagues us as human beings.
Think of how free we would be if there was no such thing as "bad decisions." But there are, and we're constantly making them, whether we want to or not. Thus, the solution to this is not how to stop making these "poor decisions," it's how you don't let them affect your mentality, and in the long run, your innocent life.
One of my favorite quotes from Michael Bassey Johnson is "When destiny is at play, everything wrong leads to the right direction."
It's just a sentence, yet when you consider the underlying context deeply, you realize just how much of a gap that one sentence covers. The problem with people who beat themselves up after they realize they've made a mistake (mild or huge) is that they lack the ability to look past their present predicament at that moment when they're so occupied with regret it feels like the end of the world.
Back to the quote: A person's destiny is quite simply the sum total of all the predetermined, and inevitable course of events that happens to them.
From a critical standpoint (😄, I know I'm being a bit too philosophical here, but you have to admit it's an interesting topic), everything you do will eventually lead you down the part you were meant to be on.
It does not matter if you like where that decision takes you or not, you can't tell how well that decision will impact you until somewhere down the line, in the not so distant future when you think: "I already know how this turns out, I'm not taking that chance again," and in that moment you realize that the "bad decision" you made 5-10 years ago just saved you from a potentially more detrimental mistake.
Sometimes all it takes is a bit of acceptance.
Sometimes all it takes is a bit of acceptance.
On a side note:
Can you relate to what it's like to spend five hours thinking of how you're going to speak to someone and when the time comes, you actually do it, but in thirty seconds?
That's me half the time! Isn't that absurd?!
What was all the deliberating about? Did you really lack enough confidence to make a choice and stick to it?
Think of all the things you could have done in that time you wasted.
Well enough about that.
The important question here is: So how do I get over beating myself up after I make a clumsy mistake?
Asking that question, my friend, is the very first step.
Recognize That Nothing Good Will Come Out Of Blaming Yourself
Ironic as it might sound, and as much as you think you want what's best for you; a lot of the time, the only person who remembers your screw-ups even long after they've happened is (and you can probably see this coming) YOU.
You might argue that it's human nature. Afterall, it's not like you're allowed to cut yourself some slack every time you do something bad. It's okay if you can't accept it right away, the first step is acknowledging that it doesn't help to chastise yourself over every mistake.
Practice Acceptance Like Your Life Depends On It (Because it does)
I say practice because it won't be easy, especially if you are someone who doesn't like being wrong. Acceptance is when you step out of that room you lock yourself in while you ponder on the millions of ways you could have done better.
You don't look back at it, and you simply do something else.
Practical advice: Any time you make minor irreparable mistakes, close your eyes, take a long deep breath and let it out until you're not bothered about it again. With enough practice, you'll become a master in taking things as they are.
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